im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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