yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
