You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
