I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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