she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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