good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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