just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
