I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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