Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
