so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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