another moral hangover. fuck.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
