I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
even my farts smell like vagina
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
