oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You're so nebulous sometimes
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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