I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
