I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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