mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
