half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
