yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
