can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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