I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
