That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Acid is not a monday night drug
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I need a beard to bite.
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