Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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