S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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