i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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