its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
