she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm always down for nudity.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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