just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
