Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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