Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
