He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
