When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
