Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
