I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
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