it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
