Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
