bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
