There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
