I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
