if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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