no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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