My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
handjob tips. give me some.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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