none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
