he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
