Who wears a wallet chain?!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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