I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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