Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
