just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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