I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
