is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
