If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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