Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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