I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
