Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
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